I was doing a birthday banner for a close friend of mine who is turning 40 in 2 days. Naughty 40s and all, right? Suddenly, it dawned on me, goodness gracious me, that’s going to be me in 6 years!
I think I have mentioned before how my life truly began at 30. My 20s were chaos in a nutshell. Marriage, not finishing my higher education, perpetual financial problems, the list goes on! Unfortunately that list does not include much positivity.
Hence why I say my life truly began at 30. With the end of my marriage, suddenly new doors opened. I made new friends, was able to solidify my old friendships, was able to attain a certain level of financial independence and stability, was able to dare to dream, had some of them come true and in short, dare I say, just live more!
With me realising just how close I am to the big Four – O, suddenly I don’t want to get to that age! I feel I haven’t done enough before hitting that milestone! Can I press pause on my aging button?? I know it’s only a number and is not a reflection of me personally. But shit! I want to live more! Do more!
I don’t want kids. That I’m certain of. I never was a very maternal person. I’m more the fun and cool aunty. At least that’s how I like to see myself! Hahaha! But kids aside, I still want more. I want to be financially stable, I want to have my home completed so that I never have to worry about where I’m going to be living when I do reach my winter years. I want to travel more! Much much more! My God! I want to see the world!
I also want to love again.
My cousin always says, if you want something badly, just put that into an intention, and release it into the universe. It will gather momentum, and will come plummeting back to you.
It’s true what he says! I’ve always wanted to travel and I am working towards realising that, one destination at a time. Of course it goes without saying that if you want something bad enough, you need to also work for it, especially those things you want that you can control. Love is something that is not. But travel? Hell yes! See, if you want to travel, you need to do the basics like get a passport, save money. Those are all things that are within your control.
When you have the basics down pat, the opportunities will come a knocking, and when they do, you are better prepared to grab them.
So right here, right now, I am making a pledge to myself. I am going to work on the things that I can control, like my dream of a home and travel.
As for love, well, I am going to be as open minded as I can, and not fret too much about it. I want love. I want to love. I want to be loved. God knows that. The universe knows it too. They will combine forces to make that happen for me, when I’m ready. I think they will know when I am. Till then, I shall try to move forward as best as I can.
I have this feeling that great things are coming for me. Beautiful, wonderful, great things are in store for me. I just need to be ready for them.